My heart is in Ecuador/Arizona. A mission blog for Hermana Miller: Christmas

Today was Christmas day- and like all Christmas days, I tried to remember that the Savior is the real gift. It was beautiful, all the decorations, joy over gifts, kids together, reading in Luke 2, just enjoying the day with the people I love most- but oh how I felt the sacrifice of having a missionary today. All day long I wiped back tears and missed you. Your first Christmas away from home, your first as a missionary, our first without you- everything from your stocking not being filled, to having an empty laundry basket without your loot in it- missing the lightness and fun you bring to everything. It's hard. I miss you. We didn't get to talk to you today because your mission president felt that with all the alcohol and celeratin in the streets- missionaries would be safer at home- so you got to call yesterday instead. You told us you and your companion had some fun plans- but I know it will be a long day. You found an English copy of JESUS THE CHRIST and you said you were looking forward to starting and finishing it tomorrow--- only you could do that, you power reader, you! you saved some mac and cheese I'd sent you in a ziplock bag package and that'll be your Christmas feast. Oh sweet girl, the first Christmas was so simple, it's okay if yours is too. I know the focus it'll give you with love for the Savior will be a gift-- but my heart hurts because we are feeling your absence today. I know the Lord will bless and comfort you and us. I'm leaning on that so heavily right now. I read this poem and it made me feel a little better- because really I don't feel like I have more to offer my savior than my daughter. You are the the most I can possibly give...

A Missionary Christmas

I skipped the sales after Thanksgiving, the thrill just wasn't there.

No pictures taken with Santa Claus, my decorating has no flair.

His presents are shoes, shirts and ties, two suits and socks...no fun.

I've bought him all white clothes because….This year, I'm giving Christ my son.

I've spent more time in the temple, my testimony stirred.

I've reread November’s Ensign, felt strength come from His words.

I pray more frequently. My tears are quick to run.

Abraham seems closer because, this year I'm giving Christ my son.

I wonder how those Lamanite mothers gave their sons to war.

Or how the pioneers chose Zion, their sacrifice was so much more.

My loss will be his presence. I'll miss his smile a ton.

For two years I will pray for him, I'm giving Christ my son.

I stare at his face when he's not looking. I memorize his eyes, their shine.

He's always hungered for the part of him that makes his soul divine.

The stories and lessons he always heard, His choice and mine are one.

I'll put my faith in God's hand, this year, I'm giving Him my son.

Past gifts have lost their glitter; I think I finally understand.

Christ's birth should be celebrated by giving Him a hand.

It's because I know Christ lives and reigns, that all his packing's done.

My gift has taken years to make, this year...I'm giving Christ my son.

I know there’s One who understands, the sacrifice I’m making.

Who knows the gift I willingly give, the toll it will be taking.

For He has done it all before. Greater love—there could be none.

For years ago God gave to me, His only begotten son.

The hands I washed, the hands I held, the hands I taught to pray;

Now knock on doors to find the ones who will listen to what he’ll say.

Because I know Christ needs him, until all the gathering’s done.

My gift has taken years to make. This year…I’m giving Christ my son.

And then I read this- and I loved it too- I thought a lot about the line "A shepard leaves his flock, and so can I" and I see you doing that- leaving behind what you know and what you love to share Christ's light and promises with Ecuador and that is so so beautiful...

“Missionary Christmas is so different.

No snow.

Our makeshift tree in the corner.

Twinkle lights from a thrift store.

My “Christmas Sunday dress” I wore last week.

And the week before.

And the week before that.

Family miles and miles away.

No silly Christmas songs.

Or movies.

Holiday parties are at the church building, but we just pop in and back to work.

Work..

Knocking on doors.

Walking the streets.

Inviting others to come

Come and see

Come and worship

Come and stay

Sharing scriptures and testimony.

Bringing good tidings.

And peace

-Joy-

Caroling to the lonely

Feeding the homeless

Clothing the needy

Service to our brothers and sisters

The Christmas spirit is overwhelming.

-Joy-

The shepherds left their flock, so can I.

Beholding the Christ.

Coming closer to Him.

Lighting the World with His Spirit and truth.

-Joy-

A Missionary Christmas is so different.”

Feliz Navidad! I think I have watched the Christ Child video over 30 times-- and I get goosebumps (not sure how that translates in Spanish) every single time.... I just love it. I hope you've seen it a time or two...

This week wasn't as busy as some others- people aren't as interested in what we'd like to share with the holidays. I did, however, get proposed to-- don't worry, I said, no- thanks. Haha... it's just because I'm a rubia with blue eyes, and that's different for around here. At some point, it'd be nice to just blend in with the rest of the Ecuadorians. I sure love them.

All missionaries in our mission will be spending Christmas day in their apartments, because it's safer. There's lots of drinking and stuff going on with the holiday, so the mission president has asked us to stay in. I plan to read and study and maybe I'll take a nice, cozy Christmas nap.

Love to each of you-- and Merry Christmas! I'll attach some pictures of my area, Ibarra. The volcano backdrop is pretty sweet! I am so grateful to be a missionary. (and I rely and feel strengthened by your prayers, thank you!)