Week 4 email (10-26-2019)

The time is flying by! And that makes me both panicky and super excited! I can't wait to be out in the field, but I also can't imagine my life without English, drinkable water, hot showers, and recognizable food, so I'm also very nervous. It's going to be such an exciting adventure and I just want to get this party started! We finished meeting with Nicole this week, and even though we'd only known her for literally a few hours stretched over a couple weeks, it was hard to say goodbye, and I realized that I'd really come to love her, and worry about her and what she has going on in her life. Today she's taking the ACT in English and I'm praying for her! We should start meeting with a new friend in Spanish this week.

This last Tuesday for the devotional we got to hear from Elder Walter F. Gonzalez of the seventy (he spoke in conference) and his cute wife whose English is adorable. She kept saying "uh-huh" after every sentence and we were all laughing, and it was cute. Something he said that I really loved was, "The doctrine of Christ is faith unto repentance and repentance unto covenants." I think it's the perfect summary of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our district discussed a lot this week about the simplicity of the gospel. Oftentimes we overcomplicate and fill our lives with lots of stuff, good stuff, but stuff that is only overwhelming us.

Another quote from Elder Bednar I love, "Fill your life with better stuff, not just more good stuff. Just doing MORE stuff doesn't make us saints, it only makes us crazy!" It's been something on my mind this week that was a little blessing and reminder that I don't have to do it all, and even the stuff I do I don't have to do perfectly. Just my best and a little better every day.

 I was in the choir again on Tuesday. I'm now unphased by seeing my face blown up on the screen in front of the whole MTC. Yep, it happened again and the jokes are still circulating. I make the screen every time, “MVP style”, I've started to tell them.:) Whatever. Haha. We did sing a beautiful rendition of "I Stand All Amazed". It had an extra fourth verse that isn't in the hymn book and I loved the lyrics. Something like this, "I am secure in the promise of life in His victory, and ransomed from death I will live to my Savior's praise". Isn't that beautiful? I was proud to be a part of that praising, even if I did have to make a special appearance... :)

 On Wednesday this week I got to host some new missionaries, that was a fun way to mix up our day, and I was happy to be able to make somebody's experience just a little bit better. I got a little teary watching all the cute families hug and say goodbye and cry together. You've never felt strength like there is in the parking garage of the Missionary Training Center, you can just see and hear and feel the faith of so many people who are giving so much because they love Jesus Christ. It's amazing. The first girl I helped was also going to Ecuador, is the oldest of six kids, and has three sisters and two brothers!! What are the chances of that?! I see her in the halls sometimes and it is fun to say hi.

The weather here in Provo has been beyond beautiful and I am loving every second of sunshine and outside time that I get. We were joking as missionaries that looking out the window is like a special event around here. Whenever we have a minute or two of break time ("descanso" is my favorite word:) we all rush to the tall window stairs to watch the street and wave at strangers. It's probably pathetic but we love it, it's so funny to watch all the outside world carry on as usual while every moment of our lives feels so urgent! Yesterday we were watching a BYU student on a jog, so funny like ten of us at the window on the third floor, and he tripped BIG TIME. It was so funny, but then we all felt bad for laughing because he got up and limped so painfully and slowly back to his apartment. It was so sad! And the poor guy's only consoling thought was probably, "At least nobody saw that." Haha. If you're ever on the campus of BYU, look up at the windows and wave at the missionaries, you will make their day:)

The Lord is taking very good care of me here, and this opportunity is helping me grow in ways I never even imagined that I could. It is "wonderful to me!". Another thing I loved that Elder Gonzalez said was, "You wanted to be a part of something big, now you are." It's such a privilege to be a missionary and to be so close to my Heavenly Father every minute of everyday, and to develop a stronger relationship with Him and with my Savior because of it.

I love and miss all of you at home, and pray for you all personally and collectively and am grateful for the continual flow of sweet words of encouragement and love. I'm blessed to have so many wonderful influences in my life. We talked about this week how missionaries are so lucky because we are probably the most prayed for group of people in the world, and believe me, we need that and we feel it-- I feel it! Thank you! Lots of love, 

Hermana Miller

 Pictures from this week: Emma sent Sadie and her companion (Sister Kendell) some vending machine treat money for Em's  fave Creamery Ice Cream: Raspberry Lemonade - YUM!

View towards BYU from MTC Classroom

P-day video chat with our missionary- THE BEST PART OF THE WEEK!

Letter to Elder Bingham

Drew Bingham has been your friend since the 5th grade.  Your friendship has ebbed and flowed- and stayed pretty solid, even when you didn't spend a lot of time together.  Drew always knew he could count on you to get him, to help him, to just be there-- to not need anything.  (which is a very cool and atypical thing in a high school friend, esp that's a girl) He was called to the Dallas Texas mission, Spanish Speaking.  He left in June 2019- you both had your mission calls, he was leaving a lot earlier than you were.  So you took missionary prep classes together and went to the temple to take out your endowment the same week.   Because the Stake President was out of town on the Sunday before Drew reported to the MTC,  Dad was the one who got to set him apart.  That was special because Dad and Drew have a special bond from when Dad was his Bishop.  I think Drew looks up to him a lot.  Anyway-- from the beginning Drew had a hard time-- he was homesick and had companion issues and just struggled.  This was hard to read in letters and you were a great support, but you didn't really know because you weren't out yet.  This is one of his emails from the field.  And this is when you started worrying-- because other missionaries that went out the same time Drew did started coming home for various reasons.

Sent: Monday, October 14, 2019

Subject: Keep on keeping on

Hola mis amigos y mi familia,

   I hope yall have had the most amazing week ever yall are so amazing. I wish I could put into words how much all of yall have impacted my life! I know that this journey would not be possible with out the prayers yall send my way. So I thank yall for that.

   It has been a hard week, I called my mission president this week and told him that I was ready to go home that I couldn't do this anymore. But he had some good advice for me. We have to do some things that help us to remember who we are we are each our own person for a reason and there are characteristics that describe us. So I have started to work out a lot more and it has helped me a little bit. And I don't mean to say this to make yall feel bad for me I think it is a good thing that all of us could learn from. We have a purpose, God has a plan for us. For me Gods plan is for me to be here in TINY Quitman Texas, o know God has a plan for each and everyone of you! We have to search that out. And we are going to struggle to find that but I know sometime we will. It's hard for me to say that because I feel like I can't really see my purpose yet but I know that i will find it. 

   It is cool even in these HARD times we see so many miracles. We were knocking some doors and the first 2 we knocked were people who got mad at us one even threatened to call the cops on us because we were trespassing. But the 5th house was a Spanish man that invited us in and he had never prayed before so we had a good lesson and we even got him to say his first prayer it was awesome. But we have felt the spirit every day.

   I love yall so much and I look up to yall in so many ways. I hope yall know that yall are all children of God and he loves you so much.  Love, Your favorite Elder Bingham!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was after this email that I'd talked with Drew's mom, Melody and we had a good cry together....what a helpless feeling sometimes to not be able to fix everything-- and to need to rely on prayer to call down the blessings of heaven to sustain and support both the missionary and the family.  In our video chat we talked about Drew and I could feel your great love and concern for him.  So you wrote him a letter-- and in true Sadie form, it was probably everything that Drew would need-mixed with some lightness and sweetness- and some things that just you could tell him- and in my eyes, an offering from a true friend with so much charity for his struggle and so much faith in his capabilities- and a heartfelt urging to help him push and see a mission through.

Then this group email came...which was much improved and sounded like he was in better spirits.  I kind of marvel at the way the Lord works- how he blesses us with strength, how he surrounds us with family and friends who cheer and lift us, how HE remembers the one.... It's so neat to feel known by the Lord.  

Sent: Monday, October 28, 2019
Subject: Love Y'All
Hey yall hie the week has been the best ever!! We are still hanging in there out here in Quitman Texas. I feel the prayers daily thank yall so much. 

I had an experience with being bold this week. We went to a lesson with a man and he was drinking and we read Helaman 5:33 I believe about repentance and he said he wanted to come closer to God and I told look you can start now by dumping the rest of that out and he said no at first and I told him I know he will be blessed and he dumped it out right there so that was actually super cool. 

I am still struggling but I know that yalls prayers are helping. I reach 4 months this week and it is pretty exciting to see these mile Mark's. Here are a few pictures from the week. 

Also i love getting emails please if you get a second please feel free to write a little email I love them and they help so much. 

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On a side note, all of this has made me ever grateful for your strength and how valiant you are.  I know the Lord will continue to bless you as a missionary and as a person to be a LIGHT to the world.  I love you Sadie bug!!! Drew is blessed to have a friend (and an example) like you.

video chat week 3

Well it was awesome--- and as long as you are in the MTC and can talk and video chat for a few hours, we're taking advantage of it.  I hope and pray it is a lift to you like it is to us.  This week we ditched the everyone gather around approach (because Dad starts talking super loud- like an old person who doesn't have hearing aids in and asking you interview style questions) while Lainey pushes to be front and center camera-- Emma fades to the side and Miles starts to disengage.  Avery and Graham are also jockeying for the best camera position and I'm flustered because all of that is so distracting and it feels like we are wasting our precious and long awaited (week to week is so long now) time to talk to our missionary.  So this week, we just chatted on on one and I loved that because I think it was important for your siblings- to get that time with you.  And I loved my time with you too.

These pics we took in the car on our way to Lainey's first basketball game. 

 We were able to text chat with you and send them on to you. Miles was four wheeling with the priests and Graham was in Provo with the Wheelers for the BYU/BSU football game.

 We saw this bumper sticker and knew you'd like it....

You had a wonderful week at the MTC and seemed a lot more situated.

  I tried to get a pic of this weeks chat, but did't really capture it... 

Week 3 email

Oct 19 at 9:50 AM

 Wow, I've been here for three weeks. That blows my mind. It is simultaneously the

 quickest and slowest three weeks of my life. To think of the Spanish I know today 

and the Spanish I knew three weeks ago is also mind blowing. It's been a lot harder

 with Spanish this week, because I have already acquired so many vocabulary words

 and only so much grammatical understanding that I don't see the progress quite as 

obviously, but we are still working like crazy in class. It's become more about the

 lessons now, teaching in Spanish rather that simply learning more Spanish. We also

 had our first  Spanish TRCs and that was BRUTAL. It is so frustrating when you know

 exactly how to answer their question, but you don't have the words to do so. 

Our amiga's name is Nicole, and she is very sweet. She is from Mexico and has a pug 

named Noah. She doesn't know much about the church, but she learns very quickly 

and is very willing to keep all of the commitments that we challenge her to, as well as 

praying in our lessons. Our first lesson went better than our second one, mostly

 because in the first one we just discussed faith, prayer, repentance, and our purpose

 to help her come closer to Christ, and we had all the words for that. In our second

 lesson we wanted to focus on the Book of Mormon, and we thought we could until 

she started taking the lesson into lots of questions about Joseph Smith, which I

 couldn't explain. It's also so hard because the majority of talking in our lessons falls on

 me, and I've been trying to talk to Nicole and then translate what she says into simper

 Spanish for HK, and then prompt HK to share something. It's a work in progress, and

 I just try to remind myself that all I can do is my best, and that the Spirit can speak 

through any and all language barriers.

 HK and I had a really amazing gospel discussion this week in companionship study 

about the Atonement. She felt frustrated that she didn't understand it's realistic

 application and so I shared with her some  tender  experiences that I have with

 repentance and Atonement (vaguely) and we had a good cry. The Lord is so good to us. 

Anyway, in our study I felt prompted to focus on scripture. That isn't usually my go to, 

I love general conference talks and interpretation of scripture and sometimes

 it feels like scripture is just the principles, and I'm stubborn enough to

 think that if I've read once, I've got it and I can't learn anymore from it. NOT TRUE. I'm

 working on humility this week, I promise:) Anyway, I know lots of scriptures I like about 

the Atonement, but I wasn't feeling it, and suddenly I thought of Alma 34. I can't even 

remember if I just randomly thought of that number, or if I saw it in the footnotes or what, 

it was really random. So we went to it and read it and I didn't remember much about the 

chapter, and we loved it! I learned so much, we study only a few verses for over an hour. 

It was such a powerful sermon from Amulek (Alma's missionary companion) on the

 Atonement and the need for a Savior. I would challenge everyone to make a goal to 

make a serious study of it if they can find the time, it's an incredible bit of scripture,

 and it teaches you so much about Christ. Anyway, so we read it and loved it. This 

was Monday night, that's important info for later. 

I got so many sweet letters this week, and I LOVE those. This week we 

discovered the missionary field, out in front of the temple. The weather

 has been crazy nice, and so everyday for an hour we head up

 there with our district and it has become the funnest part of my day. We play sand 

volleyball, spikeball, bocce ball... all sorts of stuff.

 I was able to go to the temple last  week, and will get to go again today, 

and I absolutely love that. It's like home away from home. I miss the Boise temple though.

 The Provo temple is super cool, a bit  older, and I think I heard that maybe they 

will soon be renovating it? It was fun to be there as a district. 

The devotionals this week were INSANE! On Sunday night we heard

 from Sheri Dew!! What?!!? I love that lady, she is so spunky:) She shared a fantastic

 message on how we can't reap what we don't sow. It's a simple truth, but if  you think 

long and hard about it, I think it has some pretty profound applications. What do I want 

to reap? Am I sowing the right kind of seeds? Does the way I spend my time reflect

 those priorites? Super awesome talk. 

 On Tuesday we had the opportunity to hear from Elder Quentin L. Cook ,

and oh my goodness. That was one of the coolest spiritual 

experiences of my life. You know how everyone has "favorite" general authorities that 

they really feel like they connect with, or connect and relate with their messages? Well,

 Elder Cook isn't one of those for me... or wasn't. But this was insane. We were all

 gathered together again in the gym like we do for General Conference and all 

devotionals, and there was lots of security so we had an idea that somebody really

 special would be there, and wow. Turns out the high security wasn't just because he's 

an apostle. Funny insert: I don't like to do things in front of people. HK wanted to be in 

the choir and I was not that excited about that idea because they do the camera thing 

like they do for the MoTab, so they zoom in on people's faces, and I'm just not about

 that. So I didn't want to, but we made a deal that I'd go to choir if she'd stop whistling

 haha (I didn't know that about myself, but I can't stand whistling) so we went. So then,

 not only am I in this choir in front of everybody in the first place, now it is being broadcast

 to every MTC in the world. I legit almost peed my pants. So we're singing, and she's

 laughing at me because my face is so red, and I'm looking down at my music because

 if I look up and see myself on the screen it'll kill me (anyone who knows me knows 

I'd probably just start laughing hysterically) and all of the sudden WE MAKE IT ON 

THE SCREEN. I wanted to die. I literally just put my chin to my chest, it was the most

 embarrassing moment of my life, and mama, I think my ears almost melted off. It was

 us and twenty people and then the camera just kept zooming in. Disaster. Then the

 next few days, all the missionaries I know were making fun of me, "Oh, Hermanas, we

 saw you made it on the screen!" and then were laughing. Anyways yeah. Not so fun. 

So now when she whistles you better believe I shut that down real quick haha. We laugh

 hard about it now. Back to Elder Cook: Before he came in, the MTC President came to 

the front and gave us some instruction about appropriate behavior, like standing when 

the apostle entered the room, and no pictures etc. This was also being broadcasted all 

over the world to every MTC, so there were lots of cameras and staff and stuff and it was

 funny, when it was time to start a guy came up in front of Elder Cook and put his hands

 up and counted down from ten to airtime. It was like being on Studio C haha. 

Anyway, Elder Cook was fantastic. The spirit was so strong in the room that it 

was almost stifling. More than anything he said, was the powerful, 

powerful spirit that testified to me again and again, that this man was and apostle 

of the Lord Jesus Christ. The most powerful moment was in his concluding 

testimony that the Savior lives and guides His church. It gives me goosebumps

 just thinking about it! He said, "I testify that, while the majority 

of the revelation given to President Nelson and the apostles is given by the Holy Ghost,

 the Savior of the world is intimately guiding and giving revelation for His church".

 WHAT?!?! So lit. Okay, so not only is one of the Lord's servants testifying to the reality 

of the living Savior and bearing his testimony and promising us specific apostolic 

blessings as Christ's missionaries, but then he pulls up this guy with a briefcase.

 Remember my study of Alma 34 with HK on Monday?? The guy with the briefcase

 (don't remember his name) is the head of the Church's archives, and out of this briefcase

 he pulls out a PAGE OF THE ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT OF THE BOOK OF MORMON.

 Can we just stop and think about this for a second?!?! The original manuscript was 

kept in a cornerstone of a building in Nauvoo I think he said, and they remained there 

for forty years after the martyrdom of Joseph Smith. When they were recovered, very

 few pages were in good condition, and so those that are are extremely valuable. This

 guy brought from the church archives the chapter in the best condition (I can't even 

believe they would travel with those anywhere) and guess what chapter it was. Alma 34.

 I just started laughing, I couldn't even believe it. The Lord was sending me a very clear 

message. Next to me HK burst into tears! on Sunday in Relief Society we had a lesson 

on praying to know the Book of Mormon is true (something you can do more than once

 in your life) and she did it on Monday, and then we studied Alma 34 and then on Tuesday

 we SAW THE Alma 34. It was just straight insane. As briefcase guy displayed and 

explained each artifact, Elder Cook bore his testimony about each. He also had Alma 34

 from the printer's manuscript (entire intact), and an 1830 edition of the BOM. I usually 

feel the spirit with goosebumps, but it comes and goes usually pretty quickly in chills, and

 The ENTIRE hour and a half this went on I had perpetual goosebumps, it's never 

happened to me before. My chest felt like it was going to explode and I wanted to laugh

 and sob with joy all at the same time. It was an overwhelming outpouring of the Spirit,

 unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life. I couldn't even focus, and my heart was 

beating out of my chest, and I just thought over and over, this isn't some outlandish belief,

 it isn't some naive need of mine to live the way I have been raised, it isn't just a hope for

 higher power or hope for something after this life, this is LEGIT. 

This is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. President Nelson is God's

 prophet on the Earth today and the church is led my the Savior of the world himself, 

whose church it is. Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and I know that

 his experience in the sacred grove is a true account of actual events, that God the

 Father and His Son appeared to Joseph Smith in

 answer to the simple question of a sincere seeker of truth. I know he found and translated

 the gold plates by the gift and power of God, and that the Book of Mormon is another 

testament of Jesus Christ. I wish I could do it justice, words don't, but I can testify that 

the Spirit confirmed to me in a way I can neither forget nor deny that the Book of Mormon

 is true. It was an incredible experience and I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father

 who cares about one little Idaho missionary who would allow me such a strong 

confirmation that this is His work. And how blessed am I? I possess the greatest 

instrument for the greatest joy the world has ever known and I have been called by God

 to share it! I'm not the only one though, every member of the church has in their home the

 greatest gift of all time, and do we remember that? Do I treasure and keep sacred the

 Book of Mormon? Do I show Heavenly Father how much I value it? I am courageous in

 sharing with all those I love and associate with the thing that testifies of Christ, and that 

brings me the most joy? I have a lot to improve on. It was very tender when Elder Cook 

shared the idea he'd had for giving us this once in a lifetime opportunity. He said he'd 

thrown this whole thing together only like twenty minutes before, as prompted by the 

Spirit. He said President Nelson had, only a week before, personally requested to see 

this Alma 34 chapter of the original manuscript. Apparently there are very few references

 in the New Testament to the word "Atonement". I can't remember the exact number, 

fewer than ten. And in this one chapter of the Book of Mormon, we find the word

 "Atonement" more that in all the Bible combined. It made me a little bit sad, I've never

 thought the little that the world knows about the Atonement from scripture. Anyway, 

President Nelson wanted to see it because it is such a precious teacher of Atonement, 

and Elder Cook said that the Prophet became emotional and was very touched by 

seeing the manuscript. It was just incredible. And here we all were, given the chance 

to see this same document that brought God's prophet to tears- because he understands

 how sacred it is.

 I know this email is so long, so sorry about that, but really I've never 

had such a powerful confirming witness of the truth of this gospel. I'm about the Lord's

 work, so I'm the luckiest girl alive, and it is a great day to be a missionary. 

Here is a picture of the package I got from Nate and family and the Mosers.  They gathered
 together and wrote a bunch of letters and sent treats for my companion and I to share. ♥

Missionary Plaque

The first Sunday back to church since Sadie reported to the MTC (since we had a Sunday with General Conference) I was presented with Sadie's missionary plaque by sweet Sister Jan King.  I told her I wasn't sure I could handle seeing it-- she told me I could and she'd tear up with me- so that's just what happened. I wouldn't take a picture with it- because after seeing it- I wasn't picture ready-- but the kids were-- so I snapped one of them with it before it goes up in the hall with the other missionaries serving from the 38th ward.

Week 2 email

Week 2 email:  10/12/2019

It's been a week for the books, crazy busy, and full of more things than there is time in the day, but I love the Lord's work. It is very apparent to me here that the Lord's hand is in all of the little things, and I feel so blessed to be able to recognize the little ways he sustains me and blesses me each day. Some examples from the week: one day it was that we discovered $2.00 BYU Creamery ice cream in a secret vending machine, we actually got a washing machine on p-day, I've figured out which shower stays warm, my companion is so motivated, I was able to remember the majority of my Spanish vocab, I read a scripture that was just what I needed, I got so many lovely emails from friends and family that were so needed and made my day. Thank you all, for your love and support-- your sweet thoughtfulness makes my days brighter! Sure love you all. 

Wasn't General Conference amazing? I love our prophet, Russell M. Nelson, I love how every time he opens his mouth the Spirit floods over me, and it is so obvious that he is God's prophet. I am so grateful for latter-day revelation, and also the exciting fulfillment of the restoration that is taking place every day! I'm so excited to be a part of that. I loved President Uchtdorf's talk especially, his talk of adventures made me even more excited for mine, and I want to go all in! I love the way General Conference always reminds me that living the gospel is so empowering and makes life so amazing. It isn't restrictive or boring, it is freeing and a rewarding adventure. 

Things here are nuts sometimes, as Hermana Kendell says, and sometimes we are so full of Spanish that we forget English, but our Spanish is not so good yet, so our conversations are full of barely intelligible Spanglish. The language is coming very slowly with a TON of work, but it is coming, and that in and of itself is proof of the miracle of the gift of tongues. My capacities to learn are increased here in ways far beyond my ability to even understand, let alone be something I could do on my own. It is miraculous, and although still very hard, I know that if I keep working hard, Heavenly Father will give me the words I need when He needs me. 

Trading in my sweats and tees for a dress every day is still hard for me, but I'm getting used to it:) I'm feeling much more adjusted here, and I like getting to know all of the other missionaries here and in my district. I really love how here it is easy to think of Christ all of the time, and that gives me a sweet happiness that is behind even the hardest days. 

Something funny that happened this week is that our teacher, Hermano Frias from Panama (speaks very little English) was telling us about his failed Mutual date... it was so funny. He said he was supposed to go on a date with this super pretty girl he'd seen in a picture, but then he got to their lunch date and she was super muscular and very large. This was hilarious because he isn't a very big guy, and the only way he could explain it to us was that "the lady had very grande arms, and she was very big, mas grande than me and no bonita." Haha, he cracks me up. 

Sadie's MTC district

Life is good when you're on the Lord's side, and I'm learning to love this crazy but wonderful life. It's a great day to be a missionary. 

Much love, 

Hermana Miller