Journal Response.....

 

One of the sweetest things I've loved having my girls on missions is that they've trusted me with their journals.  They take a picture of each page of their journal each week and send it to me to read and ponder over and then I respond to it (kind of like a conversation back to them. )  It has helped me know what's really on their hearts in a way that I could never know in a weekly phone call. I will miss it so incredibly much-- I love that closeness &  that trust. It has made my prayers for them more specific.  I am so grateful for their trust and the way I've see them grow in such a personal way.  It's been a blessing for me to feel like I could in some way validate or lift them, bear testimony, share experiences that have helped me-- and just really felt the mutual lift that comes from traveling this mission and life experience together.  I have printed off all their pages and all my responses and saved them in a box - it's like a love letter back and forth-- not just between me and them, but the Lord too, He's in on it.  Out of privacy, I haven't made any posts about the contents of those journals, or my responses.  I did want to share one part though- as Sadie was expressing the range of emotions in her journal this week, with just one month left to make her mark as a missionary- after I'd gone through my regular numbered responses... this is what I wrote.. and when I was doen, I was an emotional disaster.  How I love her and how grateful I am to know that she has become exactly what she needed to-- and that the metamorphosis continues, for her, like it does for each of us.  So grateful

"...Sweet Sadie—I love you.  I see so much of me in you.  And when I write that I think oh, I hope she doesn’t read that like I’ve done something or take any credit—I just know those struggles—not in the way of a missionary- but in the way of a wife and a mama and a disciple, hard on myself- fighting the shrinking and the rising- the whys behind things, the intrinsic motivators, the things that matter and the things that stick.  Always trying to lift where I stand, and show up when it’s hard, put someone else first, be more committed in the simple things, more impactful, more aware, more sensitive, more, more more…..  I love you so much and I admire who you are and how you’ve grown into this amazing woman- ready for the blessings that Heavenly Father will POUR upon you…blessings that aren’t conditional on how tired you are, how empty you feel sometimes- blessings you’ve earned through your faithfulness, and blessings endowed to you because of who you are, a daughter of GOD.  You have never taken the pass- you have risen every time and looked outside yourself to give, give, give.  Trust that it’s enough.  It’s everything you’ve had to give- that doesn’t mean perfect, that means your best—your reinvented, recommitted, trusting, full of faith and ALL-In offering.  And while you may feel that some part of you is soon ending—it really isn’t—you take off the tag—but you still represent Him- that tag is in your heart.  That tag is every time you take the sacrament, and when you are worthy to be in His house at the temple….. in every ordinance that tag is there—you keep representing every day of your life.  You still look to Him in every thought—He still trusts you with marvelous and overwhelming stewardships, and you still have the promise of His spirit at your side.  And so it goes—this thing called mortality.  What a beautiful adventure… no endings—just different switch backs (and some of them are steep- but you Sadie Jane, know how to climb)  There is grandeur in the big goal, and grace in the journey.  I love that I get to travel it with you—it’s the privilege of a lifetime, really…. The sweetest blessing for a mama heart.  -

Have a great week 77, you only get one of them!

Xoxoxo   Mama"